| Alternative lifestyle Personals Glossary of Terms
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A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | Q | R | S | T | U | V | W | X | Y | Z
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| 24/7
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| 24-hours, 7 days a week. Where the sub lives with, and is controlled by, the Master/Mistress on that basis.
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A back to top
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| A, A/S, A/W
| Anal sex, to receive Anal Service, Anal Worship.
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| AB, Adult Babies
| Grown-ups who wish to be treated as babies. This can include the wearing of nappies/diapers, bottle
feeding and changing.
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| Age Play
| Role play where you and/or your partner pretend to be different ages –
both young, both old, one young/one old.
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| Algolagnia
| Medical/psychological term for the love of pain. Colloquially known as "Masochism."
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| Auto-Eroticism
| Do it Yourself. Masturbation.
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B back to top
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| BDSM
| It is generally accepted within the scene that these initials mean Bondage & Domination, Sadism & Masochism,
but also that they are extended to Bondage & Discipline / Domination & Submission / Sadism & Masochism.
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| Blood Sports
| Play involving cutting, piercing or the drawing of blood.
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| Body Bag
| A fully enclosed rubber bag into which the slave or submissive is sealed. Used in restriction or mummification games.
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| Body Modification
| To have the body modified by piercing or cutting.
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| Body Worship
| To kiss or lick the Master/Mistress's body. Often the legs, feet or anus.
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| Bondage
| The generic term for practicing tying or restraint. Bondage takes many forms, including elaborate rope bondage,
chains, metal handcuffs or leather restraints, as examples.
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| Boot Worship
| To kiss or lick the boots or shoes worn by the Master/Mistress.
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| Bottom
| Sometimes used as another term for submissive,
but to be more accurate, this is someone who likes to receive of
sensation (not always the submissive).
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| Breath Play
| To have one's breathing restricted or controlled.
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| Brown Showers
| Sometimes referred to as 'hard sports.' To be defecated upon. See also 'Scat' and 'Caviar.'
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| Butt-Plug
| An object with a flared edge that is inserted in
the anus. The flared end stops the butt plug from getting lost up
inside of the rectum. There many types, sizes and models of Butt Plugs
- rubber, latex, metal, inflatable, to name just a few.
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C back to top
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| Cage
| A metal cage in which the submissive is locked as
part of a scene. The related term "cage of little ease" implies a cage
which is so small that the submissive cannot rest in a comfortable
position.
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| Caning
| Beating with a cane, usually on the buttocks, often in school-scene games.
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| Cat, cat-o'nine-tails
| A whip consisting of nine strands of leather
attached to a handle. The cat leaves lasting marks, and inflicts
extreme pain if wielded harshly.
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| Catheter
| A tube inserted into the urethra, used in medical
scenes. There are obvious health and safety implications associated
with this type of play. See also "Sound."
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| Caviar
| See also'Brown Showers.' An alternative term.
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| CBT Board
| A wooden or leather board designed to hold the penis and testicles whilst they are tortured. It is usually attached with clamps.
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| Chocolate
| Someone who is in the BDSM lifestyle (opposite of Vanilla)
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| CBT
| Cock and Ball torture.
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| CD
| Cross-dressing. To dress, or be forcibly dressed, as a female. (See also Transvestism.)
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| Chamber
| The room in which sessions take place. Can also be called a Dungeon.
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| Clamps
| Clips, often metal, sometimes clothes pegs, which are attached to the nipples, or genitals.
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| Clingfilm
| The common kitchen wrap. Very effective when used in mummification games. See also 'Mummification.'
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| Cock Ring
| A ring made from metal, rubber or leather, worn round the base of the penis to control blood flow.
A Cock Ring can either help sustain an erection, or prevent one if applied to a flaccid penis.
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| Collar
| Worn to denote submissiveness or slavery to a particular Master/Mistress.
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| Collaring
| The ceremony or ritual by which a submissive becomes bound to his or her Master/Mistress. Collaring
represents a serious commitment between the players and is not a part of casual play.
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| Consensual
| based on mutual agreement; not coerced; one of the three cornerstones of social SM play: Safe, Sane & Consensual.
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| Coprophilia
| The technical term for Scat games.
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| Corporal Punishment, CP
| "Punishment" by beating. The term CP sometimes
implies a more vigorous beating than "spanking", but the two are often
used interchangably.
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| Crop
| The thing that jockeys use on horses. A well
applied crop causes significant pain, and will leave marks, even when
applied lightly.
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| Cuffs
| Either metal or leather, and worn on the wrists and/or ankles as a method of restraint. |
| Cutting
| Involves being cut with a scalpel. See also "scarification."
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D back to top
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| Dildo play, Dildo Training
| A dildo is inserted into the rectum. There are various sizes, from finger size to enormous.
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| Discipline
| practice which produces discomfort for the purpose of sexual or emotional arousal.
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| Dog Training
| You're the dog. Wear a collar and lead, eat and drink from a bowl on the floor, beg and bark.
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| Dom
| A Male Dominant. C.f. "domme."
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| Domina, Domme, Dominant, Dominatrix
| Various alternative terms which may be used to describe a Mistress.
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| Domination
| To be dominated by a Master/Mistress. This includes obeying instructions, carrying out tasks,
humiliation and being dominated generally. Domination, in its strictest definition, is largely
psychological play and is distinct from "topping" which refers to physical S&M.
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| Dungeon
| Most Masters/Mistresses refer to the room where they play as a dungeon. Some dungeons are decorated
and equipped in the style of mediaeval torture chambers, but the term covers any room equipped for BDSM. Q.v. "chamber."
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E back to top
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| Edge-Play
| This means that the scene will be taken to extreme limits; danger to health is implied. Edge play should only be contemplated
by those experienced in BDSM. This is definitely not for the novice.
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| Electrics
| To be tortured or stimulated with a low-voltage
electrical device, such as a 'Violet Wand', PES or a TENS unit. There
are both dildo
and catheter attachments which can deliver an internal electric shock.
Electrical play is safe when done by a knowledgeable Master/Mistress
but very dangerous when done by an inexperienced dominant.
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| Endorphins
| A group of endogenous, morphine-like hormones
secreted by the brain when the body is under unusual stress, which fit
into the brain's opioid receptors and stimulate them to fire, producing
tranquilizing and pain-killing properties that appear to help induce a
sort of euphoria; some people report feeling a state of well-being
similar to endorphin euphoria after experiencing intense sensations
such as those associated with prolonged flogging. |
| Enema
| Lots of fun if you are into it. An enema is used to fill the colon with water or other liquid. Often used in medical scenes.
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F back to top
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| Face Sitting
| To have your face sat upon by the Mistress. The
details vary; some face-sitting is simply an expression of dominance;
some is a part of breathing restriction games; some is explicitly
sexual and the submissive is expected to perform cunnilingus on the
Mistress. The last-named variant is common between lovers, but rare in
professional BDSM; most professional Mistresses do not allow it and may
be offended if a client asks for it.
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| Fantasy
| Many and varied. Whatever your fantasy, you can
wager your pension that someone else, somewhere, has a similar fantasy.
Some Masters/Mistresses will indulge your fantasies.
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| Feminization
| For a man to be dressed and often made-up as a female, either voluntarily or under duress.
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| Fetish, Fetishist
| Fetish is a term used to describe a specific area
of interest, likewise a fetishist is one participates in those
fetishes. There are probably a hundred or more activities which can be
described as fetishes, but a representative example are those involving
rubber, latex, PVC or leather.
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| Fisting
| A hand is inserted into the anus or vagina and
then balled into a fist. The submissive needs to be experienced to
receive a fist, and the Master/Mistress skilled to perform it.
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| Flogger
| A rubber, latex or leather multi-stranded whip. |
| Foot Fetish or Worship
| To kiss or lick the feet of the Master/Mistress.
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| Friends With Benefits
| Generally an open relationship based on genuine
affection and trust that guarantees everybody gets laid without making
a romantic commitment. Someone you can hang out with and have sex with,
but don't really plan on ever living with. Also goes by Fuck Buddies,
Friends with Perks, etc.
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G back to top
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| Gags
| Many kinds available, but are often ball gags, or penis-shaped gags. Sometimes inflatable.
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| Leather or rubber device consisting of several
straps which enclose and restrict the penis and testicles. Used as a
male chastity device.
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| Golden Showers or G/S
| To be urinated upon. Occasionally referred to as Golden Wine or Golden Champagne. Q.v. "watersports."
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H back to top
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| Hard Sports
| Scat games.
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| Harness
| Usually leather or rubber, worn by the submissive. The harness will sometimes restrict the movement of the arms.
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| Health and Safety
| This is a huge area. However, basically, only ever use equipment which has been sterilized if it is invasive.
Tell the Master/Mistress if you have any medical conditions - especially if cardio-vascular. Many Masters/Mistresses
are happy to see those who are HIV+. Just tell him/her. Never play without a safe word. Always use a condom,
even if the end result is auto-erotic. You know, all common sense stuff.
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| Heavy Play
| Sophisticated or advanced activities or
techniques used for psychological or physical stimulation that require
special training for safety reasons, e.g. breath control, cutting,
temporary and/or permanent piercing, branding, burning, electroplay:
also play that is very intense physically and / or psychologically, as
very intense pain, or very intense surrender. |
| Hermaphrodite
| A person having both male and female reproductive organs
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| Hood
| Hoods are usually rubber, leather, latex or PVC
and totally enclose the head. There are many different types of hood,
but some have gags or zips fitted to restrict vision and breathing.
Very efficient when used as part of sensory deprivation games.
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| Human Toilet Training
| You're the toilet, and often restrained in a
toilet box, whilst the Master/Mistress urinates or defecates on you.
Toilet training usually implies that you receive the excrement in your
mouth, as opposed to "showers" where the waste falls on your body.
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| Humiliation
| Takes many forms, but is exactly what it says. To
be humiliated forms a part of many scenes, and can be related to body
shape or penis size, among other things.
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| Hypnotism
| Some Masters/Mistresses engage in hypno-play. You
have to make your own mind up about getting into this, but it can be
very exciting if the Master/Mistress is an experienced practitioner.
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I back to top
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| Ice
| Ice can be used very effectively as an instrument of torture.
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| Immobilization
| Rendering a bottom helpless by completely restricting movement through bondage.
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| Infantilism
| See Adult Babies.
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| Interrogation
| A type of role play - can be very intense. Interrogation may involve torture.
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K back to top
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| klismaphilia
| A love of enemas. Enema games.
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L back to top
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| Lash
| Descriptive of any kind of whip.
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| Leather
| Leather is not only the product, but also can be a keyword for a type of lifestyle.
Leathermen are usually gay males who also are into BDSM. It can imply an "old guard"
sort of mentality where discipline is stricter and rules of interaction apply.
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| Limits
| Boundaries of consent as negotiated between partners, including activities in which one person does not wish to participate.
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M back to top
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| Maid Training
| Wearing a maid's outfit. Cleaning, serving the Master/Mistress and generally acting as a maid.
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| Marks
| Most Masters/Mistresses will ask before marking you. Remember that even the lightest application of a whip or crop will leave
marks which will be visible for anything from several hours to several days.
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| Masochist
| A person who enjoys receiving intense sensation in a consensual, erotic context.
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| Master
| Sometimes the word "dominant" is used, but master
usually has a "heavier" implication. While someone can be dominant in a
scene, a master usually implies a relationship, sometimes a 24x7
relationship.
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| Medical Scenes
| Where the Master/Mistress plays the role of
doctor or nurse. Often involves the use of rectal exams, enemas and
catheters. Occasionally, body-neutral fluids are injected under the
skin.
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| M.O.S.
| Members of the Opposite Sex.
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| Mummification
| The whole body is wrapped in clingfilm or other
suitable wrapping, or enclosed in a body bag. Breathing is often
controlled via a mouth or nose tube.
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| Munch
| A term used world-wide for purely social
gatherings of the BDSM community, usually in public places where people
can mix and mingle in a relaxed safe environment.
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N back to top
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| Negotiation
| conferring and discussing to reach an agreement
about what will happen in an SM scene regarding likes, dislikes,
limits, health issues, roles, etc. |
| Nipple Torture, NT
| Any application of pain to the nipples. Clamps, of which there are many kinds, are often used.
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O back to top
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| Obedience
| Master/Mistresses will expect absolute, unquestioning, obedience to their commands.
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| Oral Service
| Cunnilingus. Some Mistresses will allow you to do this. Most won't.
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P back to top
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| PA
| Prince Albert. A ring which pierces through the
urethra and comes out of the underside of the penis. There are several
piercing and modification sites where you can see photographic examples
of the PA.
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| Panty Boys
| Those who like to wear female underwear, especially panties, as part of a scene.
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| Parachute
| Parachute-shaped rubber or leather attachment for
the scrotum or penis. Weights are then placed in it to stretch the
penis and testicles.
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| Pet Training
| To be trained as a dog, pony or other pet.
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| Piercing
| Either temporary or permanent. If temporary,
needles are used and removed at the end of the scene. There are many
kinds of body piercing which are permanent, including piercings to the
genitalia and nipples.
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| Play
| To participate in a BDSM scene.
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| Pony Play
| This involves acting as a pony, pulling a small trailer with Master/Mistress in. And guess where you wear the tail.
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| Poppers
| A liquid stimulant which is sniffed. Poppers act by causing a brief, but
intense surge of blood to the heart and brain. The "high" produces
light-headedness, intensified orgasms, and a sense of time slowing down.
(Poppers are dangerous for people with certain medical conditions, like
glaucoma and cardio-respiratory problems.
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| Pro-Domme
| A Professional Dominatrix. Payment ("tribute") is expected for her sessions.
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| Prostate Milking
| A method of provoking ejaculation without
touching the penis. The prostate is massaged internally, causing semen
to leave the ampulla, a storage reservoir, and ejaculate. When used in
conjunction with a chastity device and ice on the penis and testicles,
the pleasure can be removed from the act of ejaculation leaving the
male drained of semen and making enforced chastity much easier. An
excellent article on this subject can be found here.
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R back to top
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| R/L
| Real life. For example, where one has a real-life
Master/Mistress. Usually descriptive of a situation that is not
fantasy, but reality. See24/7.
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| R/T
| Real time, as opposed to cyberchat, erotic email, trading pics, etc.
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| Rack
| Exactly the same as the Medieval torture instrument, but (we very much hope!) not used to the same extreme extent.
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| Restraints
| cuffs, usually made of leather, that close around wrists and ankles and also, sometimes, around thighs, waist, etc.
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| Restriction Games
| A part of the bondage scene. Often where breathing is restricted or controlled.
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| Rimming
| The act of licking the anal rim of another person in order to gain and/or give sexual pleasure. (Also called a "rim job.")
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| Role-Play
| You both act out roles, teacher/pupil or
nurse/patient for example. Usually, only the broad outlines are
sketched out, and the Master/Mistress runs and controls the play.
Almost all BDSM involves some level of role-play.
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| Rubber, Latex, PVC
| Worn or used in scenes. It is possible to acquire a massive wardrobe of clothing and toys.
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S back to top
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| S&M
| Sadism and masochism.
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| S.S.C
| Safe, Sane, Consensual. What all your scenes should be.
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| Sadist
| Person who enjoys giving intense sensation (usually pain) in a consensual SM context.
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| Safety
| Make sure you negotiate exactly where you want to
go with the Master/Mistress. Ensure that you fully explain your limits.
No good Master/Mistress will exceed your limits. See 'Safe-Word',
below.
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| Safe-Word
| Any Master/Mistress worth her salt will give you
a safe-word before you start playing. Use of the word instantly stops
play, and is used when your limits have been reached. Remember, fantasy
is a long way from reality. You may not like what is being done to you.
Never play without a safe-word.
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| Scarification
| To be cut and scarred. The scars are often stylized, and displayed in the same way as tattoos.
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| Scat
| Playing with excrement; being used as a toilet.
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| Scene
| BDSM generally is referred to as 'The Scene.' 'To Scene' is to play BDSM games.
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| School Room
| Where schoolboy/schoolgirl/teacher scenes are played out, with the Master/Mistress acting as the teacher.
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| Sensory Depravation
| using blindfolds, gags, ear plugs, hoods, bondage, etc. to reduce information available to one or more senses.
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| Service
| doing for another; the bottom for the Top, as an expression of obedience, respect, submission, devotion, love, etc.
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| Sex
| Vaginal or oral sex may be the culmination of games played privately between couples, but it is rarely if ever part
of professional domination. The vast majority of professional mistresses will not have sex of any kind with their clients,
and will be angered by any suggestion that they should.
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| Sissy Boy, Sissification
| Much like Panty Boy, above. Sissification means enforced feminization.
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| Slave, Slave-Slut
| Some Dominas will expect you to behave exactly like a slave. Slaves are often referred to as slave-sluts
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| Slave
| person who is consensually owned as property of another.
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| Smoke
| The Master/Mistress will exhale cigarette smoke,
often into the filter tube of a gas mask worn by the sub. Any game
involving cigarette or cigar smoke.
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| Snake Bite
| A rubber suction cup is applied to the skin. Be aware that it leaves a mark like a love-bite.
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| Sound
| Metal medical instrument which is inserted into the urethra. Occasionally, a lubricated cotton bud is used instead of metal.
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| Speculum
| metal medical instrument which is used to open and expand the anus or vagina.
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| Spreader Bars
| A rigid bar attached to ankle or wrist cuffs. Designed to hold the legs or arms apart.
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| St. Andrew's Cross
| A diagonal cross upon which the submissive is tied.
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| Strap-On, Strap-On Games
| The Master/Mistress wears a latex penis strap-on and you are expected to receive it.
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| Submissive, Sub
| Master/Mistress is the Dominant, you are the submissive.
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| Subspace
| A trance-like, euphoric state brought on by the release of endorphins (during
heavy pain games) in the submissive partner.
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| Suspension
| Being hung up, or suspended, by the tied wrists, wrists and ankles or even feet.
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| Switch
| A person who can 'switch' between being either a
Dominant or a submissive. Switching is quite common amongst lifestyle
Masters/Mistresses, but is rarely part of professional sessions.
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T back to top
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| TENS Unit
| Battery powered device for delivering a low-voltage electric shock.
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| Toilet Box
| Laying on your back, a toilet box is a
purpose-built box, with a toilet seat on top, which fits round the
head. Master/Mistress then sits on the box.
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| Topping from the bottom
| A domminant. "Topping" is sometimes used specifically to refer to physical S&M, as distinct from psychological domination.
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| Torture
| Generic term for activities which occur during a scene. Can be from mild to extreme.
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| Toy
| Equipment used in an SM scene; aka, tool, gear, equipment.
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| TPE, Total Power Exchange
| It’s the condition of a relationship in which no
impediment to the exercise of the owner's power is accepted. Sometimes goes
with 24/7, but not always.
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| Transgender
| A person who was previously one gender and changed to the
opposite gender by an operation.
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| Tribute
| The money that is paid to a Pro-Domme as a fee for a session.
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| TV, Transvestism
| Dressing like a member of the opposite sex,
usually in a very convincing manner. The term TV, as opposed to
cross-dresser or CD, is sometimes used specifically to indicate someone
who gets fetishistic pleasure from dressing.
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V back to top
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| Vanilla
| Descriptive of people who are not active in the BDSM scene; e.g. "vanilla sex."
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| Violet Wand
| Low-voltage electrical device which produces static electricity. Used to torture and/or stimulate the penis, scrotum and anus.
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W back to top
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| Watersports, WS
| The dominant urinates on the submissive.
Watersports includes "golden showers" (q.v.) and may also include
"toilet training" (q.v.).
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| Wax
| Hot candle wax dripped on the body is an effective means of inflicting pain.
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| Weights
| Often attached to the penis, testicles or nipples to stretch them.
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| Wheel
| A free-spinning wheel to which the submissive is tied and rotated round. Sometimes called the Catherine Wheel.
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| Whip
| The sharp crack of a whip is a staple in BDSM
games. Whips can be used gently and sensually or turn someone's bare
butt cheeks flaming red.
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| White Room
| As an addition to a dungeon, where medical and clinical games are played.
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| Worship
| adoring and / or loving a person, a person's body or body part, or a thing in a reverential manner - such as boots.
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