If you end up spending a night on
your own and you find yourself tired of the same old masturbation
drill, consider the anal option. Both guys and ladies can enjoy a nice
evening of anal masturbation -- soft candle light, sensuous music, lots
of lulling lube, and butt hole. Even if you don't have an orgasm from
anal masturbation alone, you can have hours of sensual pleasure, and
when you do add genital stimulation into the picture, the eruption can
be heavenly.
To start yourself off right, there are two things you want to do:
get yourself relaxed; then get yourself horny. When you're horny, your
anal walls swell and get sensitive. And when you're relaxed, the anal
door opens more freely to guests.
Relax by taking very deep breaths. Deep breathing helps you relax
overall, helps your circulation, and helps you to become more aware of
your senses. As you inhale (to a count of ten) think about your butt
hole expanding and make a note of the sensations you're having there.
Expanding your butt hole on inhale and releasing on exhale is good
practice. Study this process because if you're going to be inserting
things, it's step one in an insertion process that allows your butt
hole to "suck in" a dildo or penis. Practice can build the sphincter
and other rectal muscles into a more powerful suction machine.
Once you're relaxed and aroused, it's time to party. Get out the
water-based lube. If you're new to the joys of anal masturbation, all
you may need are your finger and some finger condoms (or skip the
finger condoms, depending on how "anal" you are about cleanliness).
Oh, and a mirror. The mirror has a dual purpose. It can be very
stimulating to watch your finger playing around and in your asshole.
And since there's a component of self-nurturing to your private butt
play, the mirror also gives you the opportunity to inspect your
sphincter for good health. Position yourself so that you're
comfortable, you can easily reach your butt hole, and you can watch
what's going on. Check to see there are no swellings, that it's not
red, and so forth. And then enjoy its good healthy texture; its perfect
form, the way it moves under your finger.
Start by massaging the outer ring; watch it pucker or pull apart.
Meanwhile, masturbate your cock or clit; get yourself hard or wet.
Notice that there's an inner and outer muscle -- you may want to
explore them in the mirror before fully inserting your finger. Do this
for awhile, watching and enjoying, letting yourself drop into deeper
relaxation by degrees. Notice whether or not your asshole wants to
cringe closed. You'll want to work yourself calmly toward an anal
opening that looks and feels loose.
While concentrating on relaxing your sphincter muscles, breathe in
and push your sphincter out. Touch your fingertip to the opening, then
stop pushing as you exhale. You can squeeze your sphincter closed and
watch/feel your fingertip slide in.
If it doesn't go this easily, return to "relax." Try inhaling to
a count of ten and exhaling to a count of ten. Do this for a couple of
minutes, then go back to the formula:
Massage
Relax
Push out
Suck in
As you work your finger deeper into your anus, you'll be learning
about your inner curves. Take mental snap shots of those curves.
If you're used to entering a vagina (or you have a vagina) this is
your chance to readjust your mental image of the passageway in
question. Unlike the vagina, the rectum is kind of S-shaped. Feel free
to explore it. On your way to deeper territory, you may find that your
finger hits an impasse. This would be the hairpin turn that occurs
right where the "sling muscle" cradles the rectal walls (creating an
elbow). Not to worry -- you simply need to adjust your angle so you're
not hitting a wall and the finger should ease on in.
Let this part of the process be ruled by the spirit of exploration
and discovery. Ask yourself questions about your internal design and
feel out the answers.
Make a mental note of the curves of this passageway until your
finger is as far in as it can go. If you're a guy, this would be the
time to feel for the little node on the forward side of your rectum
(navel side as opposed to backbone side) that is your prostate. A
slight massage here -- in small, soft circular motions -- might drive
you wild, especially if you are also slowly working up and down your
shaft with your free hand. Ladies, you will want to be massaging your
clit or perhaps using thumb and forefinger of your free hand so that
you can be working your clit AND giving yourself double penetration.
Now, while you're creating all these exciting sensations, whether
you're a guy or a lady, you should let your wildest fantasies loose in
your mind's eye. Fantasy is half the fun, and anal stimulation may
conjure up new fantasies you never knew you had in you.
So this is a pretty easy process that should have you moaning at your own command. And here are a couple of variations:
-- Instead of inserting the finger deeper right away, you can go
for wider by inserting two fingers, then possibly three. Use the same
process of relaxation and arousal to loosen yourself up and make each
new expansion go smoothly and comfortably.
-- Instead of using a finger, use a vibrating toy (plus plenty of lube). These sensations can be fun in the extreme.
For a nice, invigorating session of anal masturbation, don't worry
about orgasm. Instead, let your goal be maximum stimulation. Consider
your private anal session a grand experiment. Try different angles,
widths, depths, and various combinations of both hands on and in
orifices and genitalia to create optimum sensation.
You may bump into a couple of negatives.
-- Pain or discomfort. Do not be discouraged. Pain simply means
you've got a wrong angle, or you're trying to rush things, and
probably, you're not relaxed enough. Pull back, try more massaging than
pushing or prodding, and go easy.
-- New sensations. The first time you play with yourself anally,
some of the sensations you'll have will be hard to categorize. Here's
where going slow and being observant come in. Pay close attention to
the new sensations while adding something you know you find delicious
-- like stroking your dick or pinching your nipples. This is sort of
like running a fine wine around on your tongue as you bite into the
filet of sole; a kind of disjunct co-mingling. And as you let these
oddities play in your mind and over your body, you'll start to develop
a whole new sense of taste. This sensual stretch is the payoff, the
reason you may want to alternate genital masturbation sessions with
anal ones.
Because we tend to store so much tension up in the rectal and
sphincter muscles, anal self-pleasuring is a wonderful way to free up
not only your sexual energy but more importantly, your capacity for
intimacy and intimate connection with another. The problem is that the
act of learning about and experiencing these great new sensations can
actually be overwhelming when you're also trying to pleasure another
person.
For example, in a lovemaking situation that includes anal interplay
or penetration, many receivers have trouble asking for what they want.
Or worse, they can be hesitant to say "no" to what they don't want. Or
they can feel like they might disappoint their partner by saying
something is uncomfortable. And when this happens, you get a tight butt
muscle and your first night of partnered ass play could end up as
nothing but bad memories and resentment. For happy experiences in the
land of anal sex, the "grin and bear it" approach doesn't work very
well.
Self-pleasuring is a way to combat this weakness. When it's just
you, your toys, fingers lubes, and asshole, you're more likely to give
yourself permission to not like something. Discomfort is usually a sign
something isn't being done in the best way. Alone and without the
pressure of wanting to please or wanting to be strong, you should be
able to explore the negatives and use them as signposts, either to slow
down or try a different approach. The results: first, you'll know what
you can handle, what feels good, and how to ease into the more
demanding aspects of anal intercourse. Second, having given yourself a
relaxing, non-threatening and hopefully pleasurable massage, you will
then have a baseline against which to compare future experiences with a
partner.
For example, if your intimate anal play with a partner suddenly
becomes physically uncomfortable, you will know and can reassure
yourself that "anal sex can feel really great" and "it doesn't have to
be this way." Rather than, "I guess this is how anal sex feels and I'll
just have to put up with it."
In addition to reassuring yourself that there is a fun way to have
anal sex, you will also know what that way is, the better for you and
your partner to remedy any unpleasant situations. Perhaps it's simply a
case of you needing to adjust your position; perhaps it requires your
partner entering at a different angle, or more slowly. Without regular
self-experimentation, you may not know these things, and as a result,
you won't be prepared to create the best partnered encounter possible.
This means, once again, that pleasuring for one eventually has
great benefits to pleasuring for two. So get off your butt and get in
it.
submitted on 9/20/2004 |
